Contributor: Purple
“No joke would sound laughable once you’ve heard it already. So why let the same pain hurt you more than twice?”
I was awakened by the beep of my cell phone. I was speechless. The forwarded message struck me. Staring at the ceiling, I cannot help but reminisce the past and compare it with the present, wondering who is better and more suited to be with me in the future.
Would I choose to be with the past? Or should I face a new beginning with a new guy?
April was a disgusting month for me. I had to live my life the way I did before. I broke up with the one I chose to be with for almost nine months and now I have to face the world on my own.
In those nine months, I experienced being appreciated and loved the way I deserved to be loved by the person whom my heart is still shouting for. I admit that I had been so dumb those months. I did what I wanted to do and did not care about what he would feel if I did something awful to him. I thought that even if I will hurt him as many times as I can, he would not leave me and he would still love me despite my insensitivity.
Of course I love him, it is just that I am not an expressive person so instead of proving to him that I care for him and cherish him, I did the contrary. I kept on hurting him, physically and emotionally; slapping and accusing him of things he did not do. Despite this, he was still grateful to have me and it seemed like these crazy things I did were the fuel of our relationship. And that is why, some would refer him as “battered husband”.
After we broke up, I realized that I really love him and I cannot face tomorrow without him. The nine months I spent with him was full of great and unforgettable memories–– the laughter we shared together, as well as the tears when we parted.
I felt like I was as wrong as a fish who decided that he can live out of water. I know all the ‘ifs’ in the world could not change things now. He already has a new life and so do I.
Thinking about all these, I considered that there are a lot of girls around. Negros Oriental State University is filled with beautiful and charming ladies—much better than me. So I’d rather forget my feelings for him and move on with my life, a life free from boys and relationships. I shrugged my shoulders and say, “It’s just love, and if girls are all around us, cute guys are also there—somewhere out there.”
As I was starting my new life, I met a guy; a smart and attractive guy with a sense of humor. He was not an ordinary guy for me because he is both a joker and a serious person. I do not know how he did it but he is strange and I have never met someone like him before. His strangeness makes him different from others.
Our friendship started with a text. After receiving and sending a couple of SMS, a deep feeling grew between us. Certainly, of all the guys who have shown interest in me before, he was the best.
But I am sure that what I feel is still not love and I still did not forget my erstwhile lover.
For now, I am in the process of forgetting my ex boyfriend because I already found someone though I do not think the new one could give me the unconditional love just like my past lover did before. But every time I and this guy were together, he makes me feel happy and forget all those pressure rushing after me.
However, one thing changed everything. My former love asked for a second chance and told me that he wants to be with me again. I believe everyone deserves second chances, but I don’t think he can stand the pain again.
So, should I choose the past? Or should I choose a new life with a new man? Would things never happen the same way twice? Well, I’ve got it all figured out now. May the best man win!
*Purple is a student from the College of Business and Accountancy.
“No joke would sound laughable once you’ve heard it already. So why let the same pain hurt you more than twice?”
I was awakened by the beep of my cell phone. I was speechless. The forwarded message struck me. Staring at the ceiling, I cannot help but reminisce the past and compare it with the present, wondering who is better and more suited to be with me in the future.
Would I choose to be with the past? Or should I face a new beginning with a new guy?
April was a disgusting month for me. I had to live my life the way I did before. I broke up with the one I chose to be with for almost nine months and now I have to face the world on my own.
In those nine months, I experienced being appreciated and loved the way I deserved to be loved by the person whom my heart is still shouting for. I admit that I had been so dumb those months. I did what I wanted to do and did not care about what he would feel if I did something awful to him. I thought that even if I will hurt him as many times as I can, he would not leave me and he would still love me despite my insensitivity.
Of course I love him, it is just that I am not an expressive person so instead of proving to him that I care for him and cherish him, I did the contrary. I kept on hurting him, physically and emotionally; slapping and accusing him of things he did not do. Despite this, he was still grateful to have me and it seemed like these crazy things I did were the fuel of our relationship. And that is why, some would refer him as “battered husband”.
After we broke up, I realized that I really love him and I cannot face tomorrow without him. The nine months I spent with him was full of great and unforgettable memories–– the laughter we shared together, as well as the tears when we parted.
I felt like I was as wrong as a fish who decided that he can live out of water. I know all the ‘ifs’ in the world could not change things now. He already has a new life and so do I.
Thinking about all these, I considered that there are a lot of girls around. Negros Oriental State University is filled with beautiful and charming ladies—much better than me. So I’d rather forget my feelings for him and move on with my life, a life free from boys and relationships. I shrugged my shoulders and say, “It’s just love, and if girls are all around us, cute guys are also there—somewhere out there.”
As I was starting my new life, I met a guy; a smart and attractive guy with a sense of humor. He was not an ordinary guy for me because he is both a joker and a serious person. I do not know how he did it but he is strange and I have never met someone like him before. His strangeness makes him different from others.
Our friendship started with a text. After receiving and sending a couple of SMS, a deep feeling grew between us. Certainly, of all the guys who have shown interest in me before, he was the best.
But I am sure that what I feel is still not love and I still did not forget my erstwhile lover.
For now, I am in the process of forgetting my ex boyfriend because I already found someone though I do not think the new one could give me the unconditional love just like my past lover did before. But every time I and this guy were together, he makes me feel happy and forget all those pressure rushing after me.
However, one thing changed everything. My former love asked for a second chance and told me that he wants to be with me again. I believe everyone deserves second chances, but I don’t think he can stand the pain again.
So, should I choose the past? Or should I choose a new life with a new man? Would things never happen the same way twice? Well, I’ve got it all figured out now. May the best man win!
*Purple is a student from the College of Business and Accountancy.
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