Contributor: Insomniac
College life is a period in one’s life when great lessons are taught. It is a point in one’s life when our personal skills are enhanced by academic requirements and extra curricular activities at school. As a student, one is expected to do well, and if possible, have an excellent record as a preparation for the future.
While school equips us to be future professionals, the experiences we encounter during our college days are the best. As the saying goes, “experience is the best teacher”, and I have my own account for that.
Upon entering the pylons of this university, “to graduate” is my first goal – to graduate on time, to be exact. I made a promise to myself and put it in my mind that I must be dedicated to my studies so that I will graduate as expected. I told myself that I have to graduate and the reason: I am the only hope of my parents after my elder sister failed to finish college. This reason is my motivation.
I was pressured but I was confident then. The thought that my Nanay and Tatay would see me marching on time pushed me to be responsible and do well in school. I did all the efforts I could to my studies – staying overnight and going to far places for the sake of my major subjects, studying and memorizing nose-bleeding words for the next day quizzes, name it. More than that, I always see to it that I am already at school early and be in my class before my teacher arrives. And when class discussions start, I always raise my hand to participate. To sum it all, I am a good boy at school then.
I had a good start in my college life. However, human as we are, we fall to temptations that are bugging around in our student life. I was already in the middle year of my four year course when focus in my studies loosened up. Things twisted so rapidly. From a student with full concentration, I turned very lax on my studies.
I often sleep late during nighttime not for my studies but for some senseless reasons. As a result, being absent and being late in my classes occurred the following day. I still did my school projects, but most of the time, it was late. Because of these recklessness, my performance in my classes declined as days passed.
I was active in strolling everywhere. I went to movie houses and shopped on malls as if there was no more tomorrow – as if I was not a student. Whenever I felt like I want to be absent, I did it with no hesitations. I always shielded myself with false excuses and memorized answers every time people asked about my absences.
Things got worse. As a result, I dropped some of my subjects while I failed on some. My parents, on the other hand, were unaware of it. As far as they know, I was doing well in school. When the semester ended, I only showed my class cards with good grades to them while I hid the rest underground.
Yes, I am a good liar. I even asked money from them provided with the reason that I had projects, though in reality, I had none. I fooled them. My parents were very innocent that they kept on giving though they were already financially drained.
My conscience knocked my heart at that time but my brain perpetually pushed me to remain dishonest. Years passed and I did not tell my parents that I cannot graduate on time though I was already aware about it a long time ago. I pretended to them, as well as to my coursemates, that I can. Every time they asked me about graduation, I always told them that hopefully, there would be no problems with the advising of subjects. But the truth was: I really can’t.
Graduation came so close and I continued lying to my parents. I reasoned out to them that I was not allowed to overload some of my subjects – the reason why I cannot march on March. That was my lame reason but the real reason was: I did not apply for graduation because I am not qualified.
After my parents knew that I cannot graduate because of my fabricated reason, they acted okay though I knew that somehow, they were disappointed. Moreover, parents as they are, they still supported me without knowing that their good son had just lied to them.
Realizations did not wake up my lost self until my batch mates graduated. I saw them wearing their black togas during the graduation. I saw them wrapped with unexplainable aura of victory. And while looking at them, I silently cried as regrets and guilt flooded over me for being so idle in the past years. The pain I felt that time made me realize that what happened to me is the result of my thoughtlessness as a student. I was mad with myself as a flashback kept on to my mind asking “whys” and “what ifs”.
Life, no matter what happens, must go on. After failing to graduate last March, here I am giving myself a second chance. Regret is always at the end. This is the lesson that I painfully learned in the past years. As I close and open my eyes everyday, “to change” is the thought that cheers me. I took summer classes to cope with the years I wasted in college, and hopefully this is now my last semester in this university.
*Insomniac, 20, is a student from the College of Arts and Sciences who is known to his friends as a talented and cheerful person.
College life is a period in one’s life when great lessons are taught. It is a point in one’s life when our personal skills are enhanced by academic requirements and extra curricular activities at school. As a student, one is expected to do well, and if possible, have an excellent record as a preparation for the future.
While school equips us to be future professionals, the experiences we encounter during our college days are the best. As the saying goes, “experience is the best teacher”, and I have my own account for that.
Upon entering the pylons of this university, “to graduate” is my first goal – to graduate on time, to be exact. I made a promise to myself and put it in my mind that I must be dedicated to my studies so that I will graduate as expected. I told myself that I have to graduate and the reason: I am the only hope of my parents after my elder sister failed to finish college. This reason is my motivation.
I was pressured but I was confident then. The thought that my Nanay and Tatay would see me marching on time pushed me to be responsible and do well in school. I did all the efforts I could to my studies – staying overnight and going to far places for the sake of my major subjects, studying and memorizing nose-bleeding words for the next day quizzes, name it. More than that, I always see to it that I am already at school early and be in my class before my teacher arrives. And when class discussions start, I always raise my hand to participate. To sum it all, I am a good boy at school then.
I had a good start in my college life. However, human as we are, we fall to temptations that are bugging around in our student life. I was already in the middle year of my four year course when focus in my studies loosened up. Things twisted so rapidly. From a student with full concentration, I turned very lax on my studies.
I often sleep late during nighttime not for my studies but for some senseless reasons. As a result, being absent and being late in my classes occurred the following day. I still did my school projects, but most of the time, it was late. Because of these recklessness, my performance in my classes declined as days passed.
I was active in strolling everywhere. I went to movie houses and shopped on malls as if there was no more tomorrow – as if I was not a student. Whenever I felt like I want to be absent, I did it with no hesitations. I always shielded myself with false excuses and memorized answers every time people asked about my absences.
Things got worse. As a result, I dropped some of my subjects while I failed on some. My parents, on the other hand, were unaware of it. As far as they know, I was doing well in school. When the semester ended, I only showed my class cards with good grades to them while I hid the rest underground.
Yes, I am a good liar. I even asked money from them provided with the reason that I had projects, though in reality, I had none. I fooled them. My parents were very innocent that they kept on giving though they were already financially drained.
My conscience knocked my heart at that time but my brain perpetually pushed me to remain dishonest. Years passed and I did not tell my parents that I cannot graduate on time though I was already aware about it a long time ago. I pretended to them, as well as to my coursemates, that I can. Every time they asked me about graduation, I always told them that hopefully, there would be no problems with the advising of subjects. But the truth was: I really can’t.
Graduation came so close and I continued lying to my parents. I reasoned out to them that I was not allowed to overload some of my subjects – the reason why I cannot march on March. That was my lame reason but the real reason was: I did not apply for graduation because I am not qualified.
After my parents knew that I cannot graduate because of my fabricated reason, they acted okay though I knew that somehow, they were disappointed. Moreover, parents as they are, they still supported me without knowing that their good son had just lied to them.
Realizations did not wake up my lost self until my batch mates graduated. I saw them wearing their black togas during the graduation. I saw them wrapped with unexplainable aura of victory. And while looking at them, I silently cried as regrets and guilt flooded over me for being so idle in the past years. The pain I felt that time made me realize that what happened to me is the result of my thoughtlessness as a student. I was mad with myself as a flashback kept on to my mind asking “whys” and “what ifs”.
Life, no matter what happens, must go on. After failing to graduate last March, here I am giving myself a second chance. Regret is always at the end. This is the lesson that I painfully learned in the past years. As I close and open my eyes everyday, “to change” is the thought that cheers me. I took summer classes to cope with the years I wasted in college, and hopefully this is now my last semester in this university.
*Insomniac, 20, is a student from the College of Arts and Sciences who is known to his friends as a talented and cheerful person.
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